Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
