ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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