if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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