I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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