He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
