I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
