Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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