there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
