I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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