i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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