there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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