Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
