you guys were way drunker than both of me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
