I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
