just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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