And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
