grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
