You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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