Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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