He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize