You're completely useless in the revolution.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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