so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
