We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
