I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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