Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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