i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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