Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
