I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
