So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
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