Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
