didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
