I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
