if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
