He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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