there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
