i don't like sucking hair
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize