Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize