I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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