no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
