I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
