I wish I could punch you in the face.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
