I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
