I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
