I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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