so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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