Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
