just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
