I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
