I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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