Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize