I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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