He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
