Already got asked if we're dating
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
