I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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