My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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